February 2012
2 posts
“Nature only wants to please itself, get others to please it too. Likes to lord...”
– THE TREE OF LIFE (2011)
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Birthday
A threesome with one woman and another man really gets you everything you could ever want.
January 2012
38 posts
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Farther
Never worry, she said, everyone thinks you’re exactly as useless and impotent and pathetic and fat as you think. Then, she sucked my dick but didn’t swallow.
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Next
I was saving up for a new brain but, man, try and get a loan for one of those. My old brain started failing me. I would forget things. But I’d know I’d forget them. That’s the thing: I’d see a pen and I knew what it was, what I’d used it for before, but I couldn’t get my brain to remember. It was so frustrating. Out in the street one time, a woman came...
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I Can Change
The only thing I knew I could change beside me was her. Then, I finally fell in love. [lcd soundsystem, I CAN CHANGE]
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Existence
I am her mother’s age. But she isn’t her mother.
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The Chain
Going to the movies alone is the best thing about being married. [quick note: man, today tumblr sucks. fucking everything is about your terrible sexual politics, and what you don’t like, and the people you’d fuck, and the bad shitty cartoons you still watch as an adult, and how much you hate your job but won’t quit, and how fat you are, and pictures of cats, and how everyone who...
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Open Mouth
I thought it was an ingrown hair just next to my scrotum. I’d feel it, a little tender, just right there where sometimes I like to scratch just because if feels more than fine. It didn’t hurt at first so I figured it would eventually pop on its own. But as time went by, I’d forget all about it until I was in the shower, until I jerked off. And it was growing, but I...
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Voodoo
She said if I looked in her eyes I’d see how they’re speckled with tiny bits of gold. I leaned in so close our noses touched. She opened her eyes as wide as she could. I looked in her eyes. I said her eyes were brown. She slapped me and said I was an asshole. She stormed off. We married two days later.
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Thirty-Four
The sheriff’s officer, he gives me a ride home from downtown because when he asks me where I live and tell him, he says he realizes it’s four in the morning on a Sunday and he’ll just take me home. The entire fifteen minute ride, the police man, he talks to me about his wife and their sons, and how each of them must make their own choices. He tells me about his church and asks...
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Young
I’m glad I’m no longer young enough to still believe that forever means FOREVER.
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Setting Sun
Everyone shits, but when I shat out my heart, I worried. There I am, minding my own fetid business, and I feel it you know? Sort of like when you’ve not been to the bathroom in a while, and sort of pressurizes shit in your bowels, and when you relax and let go, everything comes out of you and you feel lighter. That’s what it felt like … almost. How do I know it was my hearts...
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Myoclonic Twitch
In my dream - the same dream I’ve had for years - there is a dog running next to me, as if we’re racing. I think we’re racing. I can’t tell how old I am in the dream but I feel young. Is that something you can feel? In the dream I feel like I’m ten years old but when I think about it afterward, I never see myself in this dream; I never look at my hands, never see...
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California
During the argument, at its most heated moment, she smiles and walks over to the coffee table, picks up her keys and pocketbook, gets her coat off the rack by the door and leaves. The door closes, and for my breathing, it’s almost as if she’d never been here. Days later she calls. She’s calm and says she’s in Philadelphia and isn’t coming back. She says I can do...
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The Life
At a diner, somewhere in the middle of the night, I think someone who isn’t me is out there having sex with someone else who isn’t me.
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Cat(s)
I once killed a cat not too see if I could do it, but rather, to see if I could do it a fiftieth time.
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Four
I placed his head on the kitchen table. Where he could see us. I wanted him to see us. For me to know he was watching us. I like that. We were standing and he saw us fuck, and when Thom buried his face in my pussy and I moaned, I opened my eyes and met his on the table, I swear there was a slight shiver to them. A slight recognition of what was happening in his brain. Thom went at me for a...
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The Gates
Yes, you’re sitting across a table from me. You’re talking. You’re saying something I want to really listen to, but I keep losing interest. Your hair, is it blonde or brown? Are your eyes really green? Who’re your inspirations, who were you imagining when you picked out that sun dress? What do you really want to say? Your tits are not too big, and that’s always nice. You’re talking...
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The Problem
“It isn’t you, it isn’t me. It’s us that’s the problem.”
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The Hundred
One day, he woke up, felt me up, got me hard, went down on me, swallowed my come, kissed me, made me coffee, got dressed, left, and I never saw him again. I never knew his name.
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“I have to write an opening sentence. I think with one exception I’ve never...”
– william gibson, when asked how he begins a novel and whether or not he plans novels past the initial sentence, the paris review - the art of fiction number 211, summer 2011 (link via warren ellis)
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Sensibility
Just because we’re trapped in a space station, running out of oxygen, freezing by the second, and using decades-old suits to stay alive, isn’t reason enough to not stop for a moment and talk about our crumbling marriage. Right? That’s what I thought! But wouldn’t you know it? Cody wants to go pressurize this and seal that and hydroponics this other thing. What a fucking...
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Afterward
The building explodes almost at the same time she says, “Run!” Shit like this, movies do a terrible job preparing you, you know? And I run. And she runs. I can’t hear the gravel beneath my boots and I look over and can’t hear what she’s saying. I tell her blood is coming out her ears but I can’t hear my voice but I can feel the words in my throat. We’re...
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Enough
At the Depeche Mode concert in 2000, we hadn’t yet thought about what we’d name the kids. We hadn’t even discussed having kids. But she had swallowed my ejaculate and I’d let her fuck me with her strap-on: there would be a time for children. Yes, but it wasn’t at Staples Center in 2000 while I was face-deep in her while JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH played to a...
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Win
The best thing I ever got from a man was a disease. The best thing I ever got from a woman was a son. Who wins?
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Incidental
For like ten thousands hours, he was stabbing me. That’s what it felt like. He took a break and now I can’t move. Was it ten thousand hours? Maybe just a minute, and I can’t move and I hear the flick-flick-flick of a cigarette lighter coming to life. The smell of that first exhalation. Truth is, I don’t know how long it’s been. I don’t know who he is. Walk...
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Professional
We’re walking back to the car, and another car pulls along side us and the two girls in it lean over and ask her if she’s who she is. “Are you really?” they ask. She says, yes, she is who she is. The girls in the car both oh-my-god at the same time and then look at me and tell her she’s their favorite. Later, at home, I ask her if she gets tired of that, being...
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When I Found Out Darth Vader Was Luke Skywalker's...
When I found out Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father, I was five years old. It didn’t mean anything to me. It was a foreign movie I hadn’t even seen, nor had I seen the movie before then. So what? Everywhere I went there was Star Wars everything and I thought everything was awesome-looking. We went to the mall and I recognized everything as Star Wars-themed. But really,...
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The Artist
A woman, after I left her house, after talking and making out some, sent me a text message telling me she’d like to draw and-or paint me. I thought about it for a moment as I sped down the freeway into Los Angeles. This was when it wasn’t illegal to talk on your cell phone while driving. So, you know, not that long ago. So, I think about it, what this woman means and it made me feel...
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Week Boyfriend
I never really got it. He didn’t look like he would kill a puppy, never mind dozens. But that’s what people would say. It’s how the world works, I guess. And the more I read about him, the less and less I believed any of it. Missing dogs in the city then became missing children, missing women, missing men. It was all there for us to see, basically. This was when you could...
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Good Morning
It was when the goldfish started talking to me when I realized I might be…unwell. There were three of them. And when they spoke it wasn’t as if their mouths were opening and closing, little bubbles drifting to the surface of their tank. That was my first clue. My second clue was, of course, the fact that fish can’t speak. I lost my mind. Isn’t that weird, losing your...
December 2011
26 posts
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Open Letter To Marvel Comics Regarding SOPA, And A... →
ales kot: “Creators – if we won’t stand up and say “This is wrong.”, we might, sooner or later, become collateral damage. SOPA is designed to exchange freedom of every US citizen for profit – to use comics terminology, it’s not quite the Anti-Life equation, but it’s definitely one of its chief elements. You have the power to change things, or at least create a future that won’t be...
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I Was Once A Spider
I asked her what her favorite movie was and she responded by asking me what genre. It was then I knew we shouldn’t have gotten married.
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Everyday Is Monday
She lent me a book once, and I found a phone number written on a post-it inside, on page 172, and I called it and my ex answered.
